1. unable to find one's way; not knowing one's whereabouts.
2. denoting something that has been taken away or cannot be recovered.
Lost is from the Stroke of Emotions Series I created in 2017.
In this image I am surrounded by the forest. The maze of trees symbolize the obstacles in my life.
Unable to find my way, and without any answers, I am uncertain and feeling lost.
The lone bird in the distance is a symbol that I am not alone, if I would only open my eyes to what is around me.
Any kind of crisis can leave you feeling lost and alone. Whether it's a job loss, a health crisis, or the death of a loved one, your life has changed dramatically.
That new life means new experiences are thrown at you, and you will probably feel unprepared and unable to deal with them.
I was a bank manager for years. I ran my own company and looked after all the business accounting for ten years. I was a well educated, savvy business woman.
Or so I thought.
The whole structure of my life changed as a result of John's stroke, and I was unfamiliar with the new way of things. I felt lost.
I had to learn how to use online banking and how to pay our bills.
When I phoned for service on our television, I was told that John was the only one who could do this because only his name was on the account.
Even a simple task of using the lawn mower was not familiar to me. Not only did I have to learn how to start it up, I had to figure out how to replenish the gas as well.
Dealing with all the little things in life that you weren't responsible for before can feel overwhelming when you are in the midst of a crisis.
But the most "lost" I felt was much more troubling.
Since we were dealing with a traumatic health event, we also had to deal with the medical system. The challenges of our health system are too big to go into here, but I will just say this...
Although it's not perfect, the care a person receives in the hospital is like heaven compared to what you face upon release. After being discharged from the hospital, you are on your own to struggle through personal care and to try to find support. It's just not there.
Thankfully, we have a family doctor who was extremely helpful and supportive for many weeks and months after my husband's discharge.
Not all people who live in our province are lucky enough to have a family doctor. I often wonder how people without family doctors deal with these problems.
In an effort to deal with my worry and feelings of helplessness after my husband had a major stroke in 2017, I turned to my hobby of photography. I took self portraits and created composited images using my photographic library to help define and illustrate my feelings. From devastation through rejuvenation, it is a story of a healing journey that I hope will help others going through a difficult time.
The complete story of Stroke of Emotions is available in book format. To view and/or purchase online click on this link.