con·tain past tense: contained
1. have or hold (someone or something) within.
2. control or restrain (oneself or a feeling).
Contained is from the Stroke of Emotions Series I created in 2017.
In this image I am beside myself with emotions. Anger, sadness, confusion, anxiety, despair.
I keep myself contained in a room of my own creation, unable to express my feelings to friends or family, unable to reach out for help.
My husband John often comments that I don't talk things through. I tend to keep my feelings to myself. I guess he doesn't realize that he actually is the one person in the world I do talk to about my feelings. And with him in the hospital, fighting the biggest battle of his life, I felt that I had no one to talk to.
I did have lots of friends check on me, and ask me how I was doing. But I always focused on the good things that were happening, and the progress my husband was making.
I wanted to appear positive and in control.
What I didn't do was talk about what I was going through, and what my own feelings were.
I was experiencing a range of emotions, but trying to hold it all in and "get on with things".
That all came crashing down on me several months later.
It's not good to be "contained". You need to find an outlet. You need to talk to someone, anyone, about your feelings and what you're going through.
They won't be able to fix things for you. But they will be able to listen.
That will help. Believe me.
About Stroke of Emotions:
In an effort to deal with my worry and feelings of helplessness after my husband had a major stroke in 2017, I turned to my hobby of photography. I took self portraits and created composited images using my photographic library to help define and illustrate my feelings. From devastation through rejuvenation, it is a story of a healing journey that I hope will help others going through a difficult time.
The complete story of Stroke of Emotions is available in book format. To view and/or purchase online click on this link.