Contained

Contained

con·tain past tense: contained

1. have or hold (someone or something) within.

2. control or restrain (oneself or a feeling).

Contained is from the Stroke of Emotions Series I created in 2017.

In this image I am beside myself with emotions. Anger, sadness, confusion, anxiety, despair.

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I keep myself contained in a room of my own creation, unable to express my feelings to friends or family, unable to reach out for help.

My husband John often comments that I don't talk things through. I tend to keep my feelings to myself. I guess he doesn't realize that he actually is the one person in the world I do talk to about my feelings. And with him in the hospital, fighting the biggest battle of his life, I felt that I had no one to talk to.

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I did have lots of friends check on me, and ask me how I was doing. But I always focused on the good things that were happening, and the progress my husband was making.

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I wanted to appear positive and in control.

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What I didn't do was talk about what I was going through, and what my own feelings were.

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I was experiencing a range of emotions, but trying to hold it all in and "get on with things".

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That all came crashing down on me several months later.

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It's not good to be "contained". You need to find an outlet. You need to talk to someone, anyone, about your feelings and what you're going through.

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They won't be able to fix things for you. But they will be able to listen.

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That will help. Believe me.

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About Stroke of Emotions:
In an effort to deal with my worry and feelings of helplessness after my husband had a major stroke in 2017, I turned to my hobby of photography. I took self portraits and created composited images using my photographic library to help define and illustrate my feelings. From devastation through rejuvenation, it is a story of a healing journey that I hope will help others going through a difficult time.

The complete story of Stroke of Emotions is available in book format. To view and/or purchase online click on this link.